🇬🇧The Physical Toll of Stress: My Journey to Healing and Renewal
what can stress do to you without you even realising??
Some housekeeping first:
You will not be able to see both the English and Italian versions here anymore, I have now separated the two languages to make it easier for you, my lovely readers, to find your favourite one on A glimpse of Life home page, and to better categorise them :) If you want the Italian posts, you can find them all here: SEZIONE ITALIANA🇮🇹. If you prefer reading in English, then please keep going with this post.
Hello, my lovely readers.
Today, I want to share a deeply personal story about how stress can impact our physical well-being, focusing on a very vulnerable aspect of my life: my hair. This is a story of 20 years of struggle, realisation, and recovery, and I hope it inspires you to take care of yourselves in the best ways possible. 🧘♀️
If you just landed here… welcome! I’m Annalisa, I am a writer and an unconventional mindset trainer. I write all about personal development here at A Glimpse of Life, usually while sitting at my fave desk. All I want is to live a happy, meaningful and simple life, my goal here is to build a community of like-minded people who want more from life, as I do too! This is a safe place to share and feel part of a big family ✨
Click here for more 👉🏻 Annalisa Caminarecci
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The Silent Enemy: Stress
Stress is an insidious force. It creeps into our lives, often unnoticed, until its effects become quite obvious. For me, the consequences of prolonged stress manifested most visibly in my hair (well, as far as I know, 🤪). From 2016 to 2020, I watched defenceless in shock as my once-thick hair began to thin and disappear. It was a gradual process, of course, almost imperceptible at first, but the cumulative effect was devastating.
The Negative Mindset
Throughout my life, I had a negative mindset about my hair. I always focused on what was missing: I wanted long hair, but it never seemed to grow as desired. No matter how many people complimented my natural copper-red mane, I didn't like it because it was too short. The colour was just irrelevant to me. As a teenager, around 14/15 years old, I began playing with my hair due to being bullied (more about this in the next newsletter of the monthly series ‘Reminiscences of an Adolescent’ coming out at the beginning of June). That exacerbated the problem, obviously. It would form tangles that I had to cut off or sometimes merely rip with my fingers (and I would continue playing with it), which only increased my frustration and guilt for having “crap hair”, which of course increased the frequency of playing with it as a way to escape those feelings. It’s terrible and so sad if you think about it. I have in mind memories of me doing it, and it wasn’t nice. With all the cutting and the playing, some parts were a little shorter than others…not so noticeable to others, but I did notice. And that was bad enough for me.
This went on and off for years, I tried to stop but it had become a habit I would start without even noticing it. When studying at uni, or before an exam,… my hands would just go and before I knew it, some damage had already been done. I used to link it to a way of ‘being concentrated’, excuses! The only way to make me stop was to be in public. I would not do that in front of people who were not close friends of mine. A uni colleague made me notice that there was a pathology called trichotillomania, and that I would need to find a way to stop if I did not want to reach that point.
In 2013, I really wanted to stop. I took a bold step and asked my hairdresser for a super short haircut. This helped me break the habit completely, and for the first time, it grew fantastically long. For the first time, the guilt was gone, finally! It felt so good.
In 2016, a stressful job reignited the harmful habit, luckily in a more controlled way. However, this combined with cheap colouring and additional stress, made my hair suffer significantly.
The Turning Point: 2020
By 2020, the situation had become impossible to ignore. My braid was a mere third of its previous size (as you can see from the first set of photos I posted), and I panicked. It was clear that something had to change. My hair was thinning at an alarming rate, I would lose a handful every time I washed it, and I felt a profound sense of loss and frustration. It wasn't just about aesthetics; my hair was a part of my identity. I realised I needed to take action, not just for the sake of my hair, but for my overall well-being.
The first step was understanding the root cause. Many hours of introspective analysis later, I could count more possible causes than I wanted to admit. Stress had been a constant companion in my life. I was not embracing slow living like now; I considered multitasking as a skill to value and surrounded myself with things that neither served me nor made me feel happy, but I felt guilty about letting them go. At the same time, I had to think about my wedding in Italy which was postponed due to Covid, whilst working and living with a fiancè who did not communicate with me, in a house far away from social life in the Lancashire countryside (UK), while also studying on how making investments, during lockdown. It was a lot for me. There was a lot to process. I had to do something. So I then began a multifactor approach to healing:
Vitamins and Hair Care: I started taking vitamins specifically aimed at promoting hair health, which I still do now, in 3-month-on- 3-month-off cycles. I immediately cut my hair (ear-length), by myself, of course! It was lockdown. I bought a special anti-hair-loss shampoo, I decided to invest in a better hairdryer (I bought a second-hand Dyson), and I stopped using hair straightener for good. I also stopped colouring my hair (at home or at the hairdresser).
Stress Management: The most important change was addressing the stress itself. I started studying practices to help improve my life. I think it was the first time I actually tried meditation. That was the beginning of my complete life makeover, which gave me the final push to become the person I am today. I started reading about decluttering my head and physical space first, then took courses about personal growth, and then carried on reading books about it. Now, I care about myself, long for a slow life, enjoying the little things, not stressing over things I do not have control over, always trying to improve myself and being grateful for everything I have.
Mindset Shift: I shifted my focus from the length of my hair to its health. I adopted an abundance mindset, valuing the health of my hair over its length. Oh boy, I could not choose better. I began talking to my hair, giving it love and appreciation for how good it looked, the amount of hair I had, its colour, softness, healthiness, and style, which I still do today! This positive reinforcement played a crucial role in my healing process. As woo-woo as it might sound, research has been done on how words and music affect plants (read this article for more info). And, even before knowing the research, I thought: “Well, saying ‘I love you’ to my hair surely will not make it worse”. I wasn’t wrong.
The Road to Recovery: The Power of Self-Love
The changes (as all changes!!) didn't happen overnight. It took consistent effort and patience, but slowly, I began to see improvements. By 2024, my hair had not only recovered but was healthier than it had been in years 🥳
I started to cut it regularly (every 3/4 months max) to keep it healthy (mostly by myself, I really like doing it, with a friend just double-checking the back…. very inexpensive!). A crucial part of my journey was indeed shifting my focus from the length of my hair to its health. I wanted them healthy, that was my ‘hair goal’.
Does this mean the years between 2020 and 2024 have been the easiest and stress-free for me? Nada! If anything, they have been the most difficult (a story for another day!). However, with all the improvements made to my life, my mindset, and my education on how to grow and improve as a person, I managed to get through it while keeping the stress from affecting me and my life too much. This was done by listening to my body, loving myself and reminding myself every day that all that was happening to me was a lesson to learn, to help me become the person I was going to be in the future. It wasn’t easy, I can tell you that.
Throughout the years, I realised the profound importance of self-love, not just for hair but for every aspect of our lives. We are often our own harshest critics, imposing standards and judgments on ourselves that we would never impose on a friend. This harsh self-criticism can exacerbate stress and negatively impact our well-being. Learning to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding is essential for healing and growth.
This journey taught me the incredible resilience of our bodies when given the right conditions to heal. Today, I sometimes play with my hair, but only with the naturally fallen ones, as a gentle reminder of how far I've come. And I do not feel guilt.
I shared this story not just to talk about hair, but to highlight how stress affects us in a myriad ways. Whether it's hair loss, skin issues, digestive problems, or other physical manifestations, stress can worsen our physical health, and I am not even mentioning the psychological consequences! But there's hope. By taking proactive steps to manage stress and prioritise self-care, we can reclaim our health and well-being.
If you haven't experienced hair loss, you might have faced other challenges related to stress. The key takeaway is that identifying the root cause and taking deliberate actions toward healing can lead to profound transformations. We all have our unique struggles, but we also have the power to overcome them.
I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on how stress might be impacting your life today. What small steps can you take today to prioritise your well-being? Whether it's through better nutrition, less busyness, stress management techniques, or simply reaching out for support… every positive change counts.
Remember, self-love is a powerful tool. Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you would offer a dear friend. Let's support each other in this journey of self-care and healing. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below, and let's create a community where we uplift and inspire one another 🤲🏻☺️
I hope with all my heart that we will meet face-to-face someday. Until then, if nobody has told you yet today: you are an amazing person and deserve everything this world has to offer 🤍
Annalisa x
This newsletter is part of the 24Essay Club of Sparkle on Substack by the lovely Claire Venus.
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More from A Glimpse of Life
My most read piece so far: Not what I had in mind this week, I felt upset 😕
The first newsletter of the new monthly series - Reminiscences of an Adolescent: here we will revisit my teenage and early adult years and share thoughts I put in my diary back then, commenting on them with a more mature perspective.
GRATITUDE PRACTICE: If you are curious and want to join our daily gratitude practice, start by reading this note, and then you can follow me to see the daily notes. I will wait for you on the other side! x
30-DAY PERSONAL GRATITUDE PRACTICE: if you already practise gratitude but want to take it to the next level, I prepared a personal 30-day gratitude guide for you which you can receive in pdf for free as part of the ‘refer a friend’ program. You can read more here or click on the button below
Oh the body keeps the score for sure…for me it wasn’t hair, but fatigue, skin and any number of chronic health issues. I love how you began to care for your hair, and by extension to care for yourself better, and what fabulous results. You look radiant 🥰
I can relate a bit to what you shared here as I had some personal issues last summer coupled with decisions that didn't pan out which had me dealing with terrible anxiety for an extended period of time. My hair just started breaking off and shedding horribly, it was awful. I had to get it cut so it wouldn't look so awkward. At this point my hair is doing much better but it was concerning there for a while.
So glad to hear your hair is healthy again Annalisa! 🧡