🇬🇧 Do you Welcome Change or Stability in your Life?
The dichotomy between Stability and Change -- let's stop following only 'societal rules'.
Some housekeeping first:
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Good afternoon my lovely readers!
Today I want to discuss a topic that has always characterised my life. I am a chronically addicted-to-change woman who spent her early life in an environment where stability was the preferred way of living. What came out of it? 😆
If you just landed here… welcome! I’m Annalisa, I am a writer and an unconventional mindset trainer. I write all about personal development here at A Glimpse of Life, usually while sitting at my fave desk, although I love to write when I am travelling too! All I want is to live a happy, meaningful and simple life, my goal here is to build a community of like-minded people who want more from life, as I do too! This is a safe place to share and feel part of a big family ✨
Click here for more 👉🏻 Annalisa Caminarecci
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To me, the most challenging question to answer is something like “What do you want to do when you grow up?”. I have heard it many times in the past, in multiple forms and contexts; however, every time, I used to find myself at a loss, not because of a lack of direction, but because the very nature of the question implies a singular focus. It feels like a directive to choose a path and stick to it for good… it’s as if life requires a static answer. This aspect is what always threw me off. When younger, I felt something was wrong with me. I saw peers not having as many problems answering that question as I used to. Every time I was asked that question my mind used to start centrifuging a ton of info and inputs trying to find ONE single thing that would put the curiosity of the person asking at ease. It goes without saying how unsuccessful that was; not so much for the answer per se, but for that inside feeling of inadequacy that used to hit me every time.
The truth was (and still is), that I am passionate about many things, and the idea of choosing just one path feels restrictive and contrary to my nature. Change has been a constant in my own life. From studying for 4 uni degrees, to living in different cities, to reshuffling hobbies, each change was a step away from a prescribed ‘stability’ that never quite fit me. It’s not just about adapting to new external conditions but also about embracing inner growth and shifting passions.
What I can have as ONE is my purpose in life: I want to make people’s lives better, which I can reach by studying, making my life better first, and then passing on the knowledge to others, which is what I am doing now. There are many things I can do to put what I learned into practice. I can do one thing for a while, and then switch to something else along the way. The final goal is the same, I would just change the route or how I’ll get there.
I have to say it’s difficult as modern society sees job roles, permanent contracts, and corporate ladders to climb, it does not see life's purpose and adapting our changing body and mind to it. It tries to box us into a predefined path, hindering the evolution inherent to our being. Did you know that many of our body’s cells are cyclicly renewed and replaced?1 If this does not illustrate the biological foundation for change and adaptation, I do not know what else can.
Life, for me, isn’t about finding one thing and sticking to it indefinitely. It’s about exploring a variety of interests, learning new skills, and embracing the richness that comes from engaging deeply with multiple pursuits (one at a time). This dynamic approach keeps me motivated and prevents feeling at a standstill. This way I feel renewed and ready to fulfil my purpose.
Embracing a multi-passionate lifestyle means I can weave in and out of different roles, each aligning with different facets of my personality and evolving interests, but all projected towards my purpose in life. This flexibility is not a sign of indecision or lack of commitment, but a testament to my intention to live fully and passionately, exploring all that feels part of my being in that moment.
If I hadn’t felt that feeling of inadequacy when I was little, I would have never started to learn about improving myself, about personal development, I would have never learned about all of this, including how amazing we all are with our uniqueness and personalities. Everyone is different, as they say: ‘You do you and I do me’. If your purpose is to be a doctor in biology and save whales from extinction, then it’s an amazing purpose and you should follow that until it feels true in your heart… and yes, that can mean also doing that for 40 years! We are beautiful because we all are different this way.
If, instead, you are like me and the traditional question about the future doesn’t fit well with your philosophy of life, then be true to yourself and embrace a diverse and evolving set of interests and passions.
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But you know what.. things in life are not just black or white… what about the grey areas? What I mean is that we might be leaning toward stability for some things in life (e.g. a house, a partner,…) but change for others (like hairstyles, tech gadgets, jobs, etc.). Again, everyone here is different. The thing is that it’s easy to feel lost in today’s rapidly changing society, where we expect to follow standards (who created them anyway?!), where new technologies emerge annually and fashion trends change at every sneeze 😂. Trying to keep up can mean losing sight of what truly makes us happy, and what we really want our life to be. So, how do we find balance? How do we maintain a sense of stability while embracing the need to evolve?
John Parkin, in his book “F**k it. Do what you love”2, advocating for doing what we love, screams from the rooftops about the importance of following our passions. He argues convincingly that life is too short to do otherwise (how can we blame him??). This resonated deeply with me and solidified my commitment to pursuing what truly brings me joy, regardless of societal expectations. Why? Well… Because this way we can feel that balance, it’s the route to take to feel happy and successful. The “how” comes second, because the real challenge is identifying what it is that we love doing. I used to dread the future, influenced by the traditional pathway laid out before me: study, get a secure and stable job that pays well, get a house, and then consider marriage with someone I would not depend on, and then have kids. Yet, here I am at 35, exploring what I truly love, and I do not want (almost) any of those things.
In terms of stability, I love the slow morning and evening routines; what fills my heart is a loving and stimulating relationship with one partner (although I miss those first dates and first kiss tension). In terms of change, I love living in different places, exploring new cultures, studying new things, and exploring my inner creativity that takes me on different journeys every day (although I’d like to have a little corner of the universe I can call ‘my place’). So….Yes, some things may clash with one another at times, and a compromise is needed, although not easy!
It took me a while to learn these things, to adapt the “theoretical knowledge” to my actual life existence… and that’s why I wanted to share them with you today. I want you to know that it’s ok to be different, to live different lives, to love different things; and it’s ok to adapt, change, and feel the pull from both sides of the coin. At the end of the day, it’s you who decides to experience life in a way that matters to you the most. I wish with all my heart that you will enjoy the journey 🤍
As we navigate through life… it’s crucial to remember that our journey is about learning and adapting. Whether we find ourselves gravitating towards change or seeking stability in life, understanding and embracing our natural tendencies can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Something to reflect on in your life:
Reflect on your own experiences with stability and change. How have they shaped who you are today? Do you lean toward one or the other for different aspects of your life?
Occasionally, take a step back and reassess what really excites you. For me, revisiting my passions has been crucial in maintaining engagement with my true self.
Furthermore, accepting that change is a natural part of life can liberate you from the fear of the unknown. Remember, just as our cells renew, so can our life choices.
I hope you enjoyed this journey I took you on today. Share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below. Let's nurture this community where we uplift and inspire one another 🤲🏻☺️
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I hope with all my heart that we will meet face-to-face someday. Until then, if nobody has told you yet today: you are an amazing person and deserve everything this world has to offer 🤍
Annalisa x
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Similar to “it’s about the journey, not the destination”. We are always in the process of becoming who we are. My wife’s perennial question is “What’s to become of us?”
I believe the bigger question, rather than what do you want to do, is who do you want to be? Doing and being are related, not the same. I do what and who I am and I am not defined, although may be recognized, for what I do. The best job or career is a reflection of what I care about most, what gives meaning and purpose to my life. Artists, musicians, actors, architects, writers, poets and gardeners seem to know this better than most. My work is not my job. A job is what I have to do to get to my work, paper stuff, groceries, the laundry, although creative cooking is a form of artistry of its own kind. I suppose you can sing and dance while you do the laundry, so there's that.