๐ฌ๐ง Deciding with Confidence: Overcoming Indecision and Embracing Uncertainty in Life
How to Face Indecision & Uncertainty in Life
Some housekeeping first:
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Hello, my lovely readers.
Have you ever found yourself paralysed by indecision, dwelling for ages over the โrightโ choice? You are not alone... Imagine how good it can be to embrace uncertainty knowing that choosing isnโt about perfection, but progress ๐. Today will explore how we can break free from the fear of wrong choices, of regretting our choosing, and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), whether itโs about a life-changing decision or a daily routine.
If you just landed hereโฆ welcome! Iโm Annalisa, I am a writer and an unconventional mindset trainer. I write all about personal development here at A Glimpse of Life, usually while sitting at my fave desk. All I want is to live a happy, meaningful and simple life, my goal here is to build a community of like-minded people who want more from life, as I do too! This is a safe place to share and feel part of a big family โจ
Click here for more ๐๐ป Annalisa Caminarecci
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My mum and I will soon go on holiday in Sweden, and we have decided to bring only a backpack so we can easily move around with trains and not have the burden of the suitcase to carry around. I usually make all the bookings, with my mum chipping in and telling me her preferences. This trip organisation required 2/3 core decisions. We cruised over them quite quickly, I knew I wanted to visit Fjallbacka, a fishermen's village where Camilla Lรคckbergโs crime books are set, and Stockholm, so it all was a matter of combining the most convenient airports, transports and hotels. A couple of decisions were for my mum to make: what backpack to buy (and what colour) and whether she wanted to get her return flight directly to her town or to mine, to stay a few days extra with me, before getting the train back home. I have to say, those decisions, although they took a few hours of thinking each, did not take her as long as others, in the past. To top this up, I have noticed she now acknowledges when she is taking a bit too long to decide.
Now, I do not want to take all the credit for this, but I believe that having told her how to best deal with indecision using the strategies that I use and having a dear friend who makes quick decisions, has massively helped her toward this new mindset. Letโs see what these entail.
The Influence of Decisive Friends
I believe that having a friend or loved one who is quick to make decisions can be quite enlightening. Observing someone else can inspire and motivate you to act. However, this influence is supplementary. Often, our hesitance comes from deeper fears: the worry of making the wrong choice, the anxiety of future regrets, and the dread of missing out on better opportunities. In todayโs world, where choices abound, this โdecision paralysisโ1 only intensifies.
Itโs crucial to develop personal strategies and equip ourselves with tools that alleviate the burden of making uncertain decisions and that help us focus on making decisions that work for us.
So what strategies and tools do we need to help us make these decisions?
Choosing or making a decision can be daunting, especially when faced with significant life choices. However, certain strategies and tools can make this process more manageable. This is what I use:
โข Breaking Down Decisions: Start by dissecting large decisions into smaller, more manageable ones. Begin with the easiest parts to build momentum and confidence. Even with something like organising a holiday: we can choose the dates first, or the location, and then get around to choosing hotels, which can overwhelm us due to over-choice.
โข Learning Through Choices: Embrace each decision as a learning opportunity. Remember, choosing one path means gaining experiences unique to that choice, which is invaluable. This perspective can help mitigate the fear of missing out, as every decision teaches us something new and valuable, but we cannot do all the options at the same time. Maybe in sequence, if, of course, itโs possible - look at me, I started 6 different uni courses, at different times, with different mindsets! Each gave me invaluable insights, not directly related to the topic of choice.
โข Pros and Cons List: A classic but effective tool. For each option, draft a list of pros and cons. This simple exercise pushes you to visualise the benefits and drawbacks, making it easier to see which choice aligns better with your goals, or simpler put, which choice offers the most significant benefits. I used this on many occasions. One that I still remember after 15 years was the list I made with the pros and cons of leaving Physics and start studying Psychology. One of the cons was: โIf I change once, I might then always changeโ. While it makes me smile now, back then I used to give change a negative connotation, and the feelings of having to change again were similar to those of feeling failure. I now know that neither of those concepts is negative, but positive! (to know more about how to see the positive in life, you can read this post).
โข Embracing 51% Certainty: Inspired by one of โThe Mel Robbins podcastโ episodes, this tool resonated with me like nothing before. This advocates for moving forward with a decision if you are at least 51% sure. Itโs about leaning towards action rather than perfection. This approach helps combat the paralysis that comes from wanting 100% certainty, which we can rarely get. By accepting that a 51% certainty is enough to proceed, we lift so much pressure! It means we do not need to make the perfect choice anymore and reduce future regrets. If circumstances change, we can adapt, knowing we made the best decision with the information and mindset we had at the time (which itโs ok if they changed over time). Comparing it to technology, just as you wouldnโt run the latest iPhone on a programming from 2000, we understand that our choices evolve with us. This realisation should free us from feeling trapped by past decisions, allowing us to adapt as we grow. As one of my mentors used to say, โIf we do not grow, we dieโ. A bit strong, but impactful.
โข Informed and Time-Limited Decision-Making: While instinct plays an important role, informed decision-making is crucial. Research your options, discuss with friends, and look up information online. Gathering diverse perspectives and data helps us make well-rounded decisions that reflect who we are. However, do not dwell on this endlessly. Information out there can be too vast, making us feel even more indecisive. Set a definite time to decide. Search and ask away in the meantime, and when the time is up, decide with the information gathered up to that point. This will reduce overthinking and stress. For example, I use this when waiting for information from other people. When organising a dinner party with friends, I create a poll asking which day they prefer, and not everyone responds. I give myself a definite time and then I decide with the information/poll answers I gathered up to that point. If someone replies after that, itโs fine. Organising a dinner is not easy, and I do not want to increase my stress levels ๐ตโ๐ซ I give you permission to do this. We need to take care of our health first.
Navigating Through Indecision
While I never reached the point of paralysis when deciding, the 51% rule has been helpful in alleviating future guilt and regret when changing my mind. It has helped me embrace even more my quick-changing nature. For me, all decisions are temporary because I often change perspectives and ideas.
The last thing I want to say is that knowing yourself is important: I know that I am a highly dynamic person, and forcing myself to stick to a decision that is good forever would limit my being, hence the fear of future regret I sometimes used to feel. In the past, with my old beliefs, I thought that changing a decision when it no longer suited me was a negative thing, as if everything was lost (see above the cons I put on the list I made when I wanted to change university course). But, fortunately, thatโs not the case. We have to remember that decisions and indecision are part of our journey of learning. We try things, we change things, and we love things; itโs all part of our uniqueness and our evolving nature.
With clear methods, we can navigate through the fog of indecision and focus on making decisions that align with our current knowledge and understanding, even if that means accepting a 51% certainty as a good enough reason to proceed. Let this be your guide to more confident and empowered decision-making.
Why not apply these approaches in your next decisionโbig or smallโand share your experiences with us? Let me know in the comments if you also use other strategies, I am eager to try new ways to improve myself, and you can inspire others to do so too! Remember, every choice is an opportunity for growth, even if itโs just a step towards being surer next time.
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I hope with all my heart that we will meet face-to-face someday. Until then, if nobody has told you yet today: you are an amazing person and deserve everything this world has to offer ๐ค
Annalisa x
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